Right. Just ignore the word ’quattro’ in this week’s car name. Forget all you’ve ever heard about quattros, four wheel drive, turbochargers the size of dustbins and outrageous performance that would make your hair stand on end, and not just the hair on top of your head. Some of those early models would make the hair on your front and back bottom stand on end!
Instead stick with the ‘allroad’ bit of it and this car starts to make sense. The allroad is an attempt to appeal to all men and all women. In fact, it’s not just an attempt. What Audi has achieved is damn near the ideal car.
If you want performance, it’s got oodles of it. If you want comfort, it will cosset the parts that you had forgotten you had. If you want handling, it’s got that fabulous Quattro all wheel drive system and if you want practicality, it has all the appeal of an estate car with the looks of an elegant coupe. Seriously, this is one excellent motor car.
I haven’t got a clue where to start, so let’s start where most car reviewers start, in the driver’s seat. With the key fob in my pocket, the engine is fired up via a button on the central console and the dashboard lights up with a most pleasing array of dials and information while the centrally mounted 8 inch screen slides out of its concealed letterbox.
The seat has more adjustment than a smart TV. Everything is adjustable through height, rake, reach and it has a wee cushion at the front of the seat to offer additional thigh support. And it has a superbly sculpted head rest that does what a head rest should do, and the seat is heated. This a seat you’ll want to carry into the house.
Equally the smooth suede covered steering wheel glides in and out and up and down to fit everyone from a Yeti to one of Snow White’s little helpers.
The big screen on the dash reveals a bewildering array of functions and options which are controlled by a rotary knob on the console. That alone can take hours to accept and decline all manner of radio settings, climate control, navigation instructions, car functions, ride height, and no doubt if you dig deep enough, it will ask whether you want salt and vinegar with your chips as well as tomato sauce.
The 7 speed automatic ‘box is controlled by a short stubby lever, but it also has a set of paddles behind the steering wheel, and naturally, it has an ‘S’ mode for manual stick shifting, which helps to make the scenery go backwards even quicker.
By this time, everything is warmed up and the 3 litre V6 is just raring to go. The power parking brake (I still hate them, even if they work well) releases on first touch of the accelerator and the car just glides away.
And then comes the first real question, is this a diesel or a petrol? Honestly, it might indeed be burning black oil under the bonnet, but you’ll think it’s actually supping the nectar of the gods. No doubt you’ve heard the term ‘creamy power delivery’, well, this is full fat, double cream.
There is no point in talking performance figures here. Suffice to say that it has sufficient power to appease the inner beast if someone wants to travel quickly, but once seduced by this car’s charms, the desire to go quickly thus bringing the driving experience to a conclusion sooner just fades away.
And another thing. Audi have achieved something that few other manufacturers have managed with any great success. They have made a car that rides well on 20 inch rims. By riding well, I don’t mean the ultimate in grip and handling, but the quality of the ride. Usually such monster wheels and skimpy rubberwear jar and jiggle the occupants. Not so in this case. For sure there is a little rough surface harshness transmitted into the cabin but the 255/40 x 20 Pirelli P Zero tyres do a remarkable job of insulating the occupants from the great outdoors.
Mind you, they’d have to be good because this wheel and tyre option adds £2445 to the base model price of £44,690. On that basis I would be quite happy to stick with the stndard 18 inch rims!
In actual fact, the car driven had 20 grandsworth of extras on it including the wheels. The adaptive cruise control with active lane assist added another £2600 and LED headlights with high-beam assist cost £2175. The technology package with SatNav and mobile phone gubbins added another £1500, the panoramic glass sunroof cost £1225 and the leather sports seats are £1165. A Bose sound system put another grand on the bill while Phantom Black paint added £655, ambient lighting £520, a powered tailgate £430 and heating elements in the front seats cost another £300. There was even a speed limit display in the middle of the dash display panel costing £250.
The final bill came to £64,395 for the car driven. Expensive? Yes. Value for money? Compared to other luxury cars, still yes. Desirable? Hugely.
I would kill for one of these.